Slouching is impossible.

Spasms

Well we are entering the cooler weather months here in Texas and I am starting to experience some pain in my upper back. It's a different pain then I have ever felt before it is a spasm like pain and it usually only happens like once a week and it's a quick spasm and then it is gone, but today the spasm started and hasn't stopped much. I was expecting some pain to return during the winter, I guess I just thought it would of been the dull achy feeling like I got every year before. Dr. Hostin said I could take my pain pills if I needed but I remember to well what it was like detoxing off of them and I don't want to deal with that again.
Today I went to the dermatologist for my 6 month check up on my moles, I have had 4 removed so far and today makes 5. There is a history of skin cancer in my family and plus I'm fair skinned and have a good amount of moles so I am at risk and need to visit my dermatologist regularly. Well today she found a mole that was dark and she just scraped it to see if it needed to be removed all the way so we will find out the results next week. Of course the mole was on my back though, like I need any more scars back there! On top of all of that I have recently developed horrific acne on my back, I've always dealt with acne but not as bad as it is now, she gave me some cream called Epidou (sp?) and I hope it helps.
Well I guess this all sounds pretty depressing so far but really everything has been great. I have been riding my bike a lot, lifting weights, working my core, and stretching. Also I have been able to talk to a mother at my daughters school about her daughter who is struggling with scoliosis and I hope I was able to give her enough insight about what to expect and that she to can over come this.

No more pain!!!!

What a lovely feeling it is to be pain free especially when you feel as though you will be burdened for life with this pain. Today is my second day sans pain pills and I'd love to tell you you everything is wonderful and my life is back to like it never happened but that is not the case. Another struggle you are going to have to overcome is detoxing from the medicine. I really thought it would be a breeze I gradually cut back for weeks before quitting, I didn't realize that getting off the last hydro codon and Robaxon would make me this sick. Now here is what I learned about it, the pills slow you down it slows everything down your metabolism, Mental function, digestion your body becomes used to this state of being and when you stop it everything speeds up very quickly, resulting in increased metabolism, sweating, chills, vomiting, diarrhea, and depression. So basically that's what I've been dealing with this week, but it still doesn't affect my high from being pain free! I forgot to mention, I went to my doctor (Dr. Hostin) last Friday and he said that I can resume all normal activity, this includes but not limited to horse back riding, roller coasters, lifting more then 10 lbs, and bungee jumping! I haven't even reached 5 months yet either. Dr. Hostin said he was originally interested in scoliosis surgery because of how well the patients recover, and what a testimony that is because I feel great. Of course there are some things that are forever restricted like slouching (how can you show how bored you are without slouching) and fetal positions (its hard to be sick in bed and not be able to curl up into a ball), but I will learn to adapt. Good luck to you if you are about to undergo this procedure, I hope my story encourages you and helps you to find peace in your decions.

Shower and pills.

During my shower this evening I was sitting on my shower chair (I don’t need it anymore Im just lazy) thinking back to the first time I took a shower after my surgery. I believe it was two days after and it felt nice to get clean and move around a little but it was also very painful washing my self and learning how to do everything again. At that time I was worried that it would never be the same again but tonight I was reminded how far I have come and how little I do think about my back anymore. My life has almost gone back to normal after four months and I can’t wait for the day to be fully off the pain medication. I have decreased my dosage a lot, I’m down to three a day and hopefully next week I can bring that number down to two. My goal is to be off of them fully by my six month mark.

Hump.

Here is some before and afters of my rib hump. They said to fully get rid of the rib hump they would take a few ribs, which would make my recovery harder then it already was. I told them only do it if needed. As happy as I am with my new physical appearance I did this surgery for health reasons and rib removal wasn't necessary. Now I can stand in front on the mirror and pick myself apart and find the parts of my body that don't meet my approval and I can find that hump that's barley visible. But I've never been more happy with my appearance and I've never had this kind of confidence.

Posture

Isn't it amazing!!!

Great things.

I got an email the other day from the Baylor Scoliosis Center telling me that I might be their next model for them! How cool is that?! I’m not sure if any of you noticed but I’ve seen their ads all over the place, magazines, billboards, and even t.v. It’s always been a dream of mine to be a model, I knew it was never possible because of my deformity but because of it I may actually get a chance! Hopefully I can help someone get the courage to do something about their scoliosis. I was afraid for to long and I’m so glad I did it.

Eh...

Yesterday I was able to bend and twist and it wasn’t as exciting as I thought it would be, you really can’t bend far without bending your back and I cannot bend my back at all. It’s good though I’m just now properly trained in the correct way of picking something up.
My MIL left of Wednesday so I’m officially back on the job as a mommy and wife, yesterday was tough and I’m dealing with a lot of shoulder pain but we all managed to keep the house under control.
I’ve been trying to cut back on meds but I’m just not ready yet, I do fear an addiction forming but the pain is still there and meds really help keep me moving during the day. Oh well I’ll deal with that problem if it arises but for now I need to keep the pain under control especially now that Mary is gone.

Doing my spinal fusion thing.

Almost to the three month mark.

Four more days till I can bend and twist! I’m a bit nervous to see how far I will be able to bend. Although going without it for three months has taught me the right way to pick things up off the ground and it is a lot better on my back.
I am feeling a lot better now, there is a light at the end of the tunnel now and I do feel like I will feel normal again one day. I have cut back on my meds a lot since the last time I’ve blogged, I can’t seem to cut back anymore though lately I do hope that changes.
My mother in law will be leaving come Wednesday and I will be back on the job as a mommy. I’m a little nervous about being incompetent and disapointing josh and the kids, and myself.

Before and afters!

Before I was at 75 degrees and not I'm at 29! Again I have to say it kudos, Baylor!
The third picture is a side view. How scary do those screws looks!?

Look at the hour glass.

I'm like Wolverine...

We both heal fast and our bones are filled with adamantium. Okay so my bones are not filled with adamantium but I do have a decent amount of hardware in and around my spine.

Happy mediums.

It’s so hard to find how much I can actually do in one day. If I do to much I hurt the next day, and if I do to little I’m stiff. So it has been a task I've been working on. I’m doing so well though, I can’t get over I had a spinal fusion 3 weeks ago and I was able to walk the next day!
I worry myself a lot if I accidentally twist my body or bend to much, I need to keep reminding myself it is natural instinct to bend and twist and I’m sure the doctors know mistakes will be made and they have already accounted for that.
I have a love hate relationship with my meds, I love them because it takes away the pain I hate them because they make me stupid and weird. I have no appetite but I have to eat or the meds make me sick.
Enough complaining. God is great and he is helping me heal every day. I get mad at my self when I’m in pain and my first instinct is to think of the meds and not pray! I’ve been reminding myself daily pray first pray always!

I hope you are all still praying for my recovery thank you.

Just incase you missed it.

I'm obsessed!

Bad morning.

I missed my 3 am meds this morning and I woke up at 6 in extreme pain. It was horrible and I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to take anything until 9. I knew I had the dilaudid and I can take that but to be honest with you dilaudid does not do it for me, which is weird because I hear it is highly addictive, but I was praying it would bring me down in my pain level at least to a 6. Luckily my Mommy in law took charge like she always does and gave me my hydro condone which I will have to skip at 9 but I’ll still have the valium and we will work our way back into our schedule. I hate being so dependent on these medicines and I hope that it doesn’t last long. I thought I was doing so great with my recovery but experiencing it without being medicated this morning really depressed me, I’m so scared of addiction, I’m scared of dependency, and I’m scared that this pain will be with me for ever. I know I’m just bringing myself down, when I was in the hospital I didn’t think I would ever be able to walk and I did so I just need to give it time.

:whistles:

Look at my new figure!

2 steps forward one 1 step back.

I heard this term a lot before my surgery and I get it now. Some days I feel so much better and then the next everything is stiff and I’m just crying in pain. I feel pretty good today so I hope I’m a step forward today.
I have bible study tonight so I have to be on top of my game because I don’t think they will wait another week for me to study Abraham. Bible study is at a bad time of night for me. Around 7 I’m usually accusing Mary of trying to kill me because I can’t function or stay awake. So tonight I’m going to skip my Robaxon I’m not sure if this is the best idea but I know God will keep me pain free so I can study his word coherently, Jesus loves me and I know I’m taken care of so that’s all I need to depend on.
I do think that these meds are making my anxiety worse, I’m sure it’s a side effect but even on my anxiety meds I’ve been having lots of anxiety but I’m getting better with dealing with it so I can calm down quicker.
Now I’m sure I mentioned his before but my thighs are like rocks! They are so sore and Using your legs instead of your back to bend is a wonderful workout and I dare you to try it all day one day. But a lot of my pain in my legs is from the the surgery, they prop your legs up in a certin position during the surgery and I remember my legs were as sore as my back afterwards. Sometimes the pain in my legs still is worse then my back.

Drum roll please.

Here it is my beautiful scar bandage free.

Tattoos and scars

I can't believe how well they stitched my tattoo back together! Kudos, Baylor, kudos.

Scar picture.

Josh always takes to most unflattering pictures of me. Anyway here it is again. I've almost lost all the tape!

TMI

Constipation sucks! Not only does it suck in general but when your back muscles are repairing it’s even worse! I’m up late tonight drinking dolcalex and I’ve already had my good meds that’s why I’m talking about something so private because this medicine seems to be a truth serum.
Anyways I had a decent amount of pain today we went for a walk at the worst time today and I was in a lot of pain. I was smarter on my second walk today and waited till after I took my meds. Well I’m falling asleep right now so good night.

Anxiety, visitors, and rain

I don’t have much to talk about this morning since I spend every day In the same spot. Don’t get me wrong I am enjoying every minute of my recovery, I get a nice little break from my kids and wifely duties and my mommy in law takes the best care of me. I did have a very bad case of anxiety yesterday, I’m sure it’s some of the side effects of the meds and the fact that I am on so many meds makes me nervous (I hate taking medicine) but I was able to pray about it and talk about it with some friends. While you are praying for me to heal pray for my anxiety as well.
Anyways it’s been raining here which before my surgery rain and cold hurt my back I can’t tell now if the surgery has fixed that issue yet, but I did have a little more back pain yesterday it might be because I had a lot of visitors or because Im decreasing my meds, whatever it is it’s in Gods hands and I will let go and let God handle it.

Eww my back is moley

Guess what this is a picture of...

My scar today :)

What else am I going to take pictures of!

What is happening to my body

To know me is to know that no matter what, I do not sweat. I can jog around the world and maybe have the normal bra sweat but that is it, it does not happen to me. Well last night I was so tired, I stayed up all day I didn’t lay down at all ( I did sit in my comfy recliner all day though) which is a pretty big mile stone for me so far. I did my weird bone stimulation (which I still have no idea how it works) and went to bed. I woke up an hour later in a pool of sweat! I thought someone poured water on me it was that bad (I have pictures to prove). Now I’m not sure if it’s reactions from the medications or my body is just like what in the world are you doing to me?! I hope my body gets the hint soon and doesn’t start rebelling anymore because (of course) I’m anxious to make sure it isn’t anything worse!
Well today I hope to get some exercising in and a lot of crocheting done, same thing different day. Not that I am complaining, I cannot tell you how much and greatful that my mother in law is here to take care of us, and she doesn’t mind listening to me ramble on when it’s hydro condone time and I tell her all of mine and Josh’s secrets that she doesn’t want to hear. She really is the best and I love her.

High on meds

Josh told me to stop calling so many people while I’m medicated, I don’t feel different but apparently I say more then I should oh well I have nothing to hide right!

Today was my first day on less medication and it went well, I spent all day in the recliner then in the bed which is good. I did get a bit anxious around 2 which seems to happen at the same time everyday I called the doctor (again) and they said it was okay to take my Xanax a couple hours away from my Valium so that made me feel better. Baylor has been so great to me and I’m very happy with my choice of choosing them. I call tem every day and they answer all my questions and help me with any issues I have.

Shower

Yesterday I had four, and I’ve already had two today. The heat feels amazing and I have one of those cool shower chairs that makes everything easier now.

My scar today

2 weeks post op

Yesterday went well, I went to vist my gramma at the hospital (she volunteers there) and got about 30 mins of exercising in. I had a great time with her and one of her longest friends ever Vaughn, I grew up with Vaughn so it was wonderful to see her. They introduced me to everyone who has been praying for me so that was nice. and also to another lady whose daughter had the surgery as well. I’m findinging out how more common this surgery is and if my daughter does have to go through it at least I know what she will be going through, and that Jesus will be holding her hand the whole way.
My stomach still looks like I’m 5 months pregnant and it is driving me nuts!!! We called the doctor yesterday and they said that it was not commmon so I just hope it goes away soon (TMI warning, I think it’s all gas).
The doctor also said it was time for me to cut back on some of my meds which is bitter sweet but I’m glad I am though. For one it’s not taking me 5 hours to write this blog because I’m so high, and for 2 I can finally crochet again! The pain is manageable so thats fine and nothing heals better then the power of prayer!

My children have been so wonderful to me, Khili (my oldest) knows to be gentle and gets the gist of what had happened but my 2 yr old is 2, so he has no Idea. But they are so gentle around me and help me do everything. My daughters class made me a wonderful get well soon card (I’m framing) it.

Also keep Austin ( I forgot his last name) he is kind of my cousin on Josh’s side, in your prayers he was at a basketball game and 2 kids from the opposing team ran on to the court and beat him up! Who does that?! Anyways he had to get a metal plate in his head because they messed him up so badly. I wonder what goes through these kids minds, do they even understand that there will be repercussion? Anyways I rambled enough have a great morning y’all.

Good morning.

So it has been 13 days since my surgery and I cannot believe how far I have come. I know I have all of it to thank to my savior Jesus Christ, he has kept me strong when I was weak so many times.
I’m also very thankful of the Baylor Scoliosis Center! Dr. Hostin and his staff took wonderful care of me. I’m still amazed at how much taller I have gotten and how straight they made me.
Another thank you to the most wonderful mother in law in the world! Mary has been so amazing, she has bent over backwards for me and has been completely in charge of the household, the husband (her son), and the kids. I just get to lay here and get better. To prove how much she loves me last night josh was at school and I needed a shower bad, now I can sit in my little cozy bath chair and take care of my self but needed someone to wash my nasty scar ( now if you knew Mary you would know that she is so swuimish about that stuff she can’t even look at a splinter) now is that love or what!?
Today were going to eat lunch with my gramma, she volunteers at the hospital, and I think I will walk around the hospital for some exercise.

My lovely scar today.

My get well soon card.

My head is somewhat clear now.

I’ve always wondered why no one ever mentioned in their scoliosis blogs how painful it was the first week! I seriously regretted having the surgery that whole first week, the pain was excruciating! I could never get comfortable and or stay awake. I had some crazy dreams at the hospital i had to keep reminding my self they were not real, I even had to ask Josh several times if they were. I’ve been home 5 days now and I’m getting better everyday, which is such I relief because I thought I never would get better.
Now I’m sure you are wondering about my figure, it is normal and beautiful looking now! There is one little problem, for some reason my stomach is swollen or I had to much saline or something strange like that and I look 5 months pregnant!! My midsectiion is a little numb and my scar is very itchy!
Anyways I love visitors since I get bored in bed all day some come visit me :)

Lost another steri strip today.

More before pics

This before pic really shows how awkward it is wearing clothes with scoliosis. Look how high my pants sit and how short my torso is.

Bone stimulator.

Side view.

First look at my scar

First look at my new back.

It was so uncomfortable riding in that wheelchair to take these X-rays, but look how beautiful it is!

Healing at home

I have been home for 2 days now and I’m on a great medicine schedule which helps with all the stiffness I’m dealing with. It is so weird having a straight spine and I think I’ve grown about 3 inches!!! I do look about 5 months pregnant though maybe from all my organs getting shifted to the middle or all the saline they pumped me with. My mother in law is here taking great care of me, I could not have asked for a better nurse. My husband has been amazing through all of this as well, he is so supportive and loving. I’ve had some wonderful friends who have kept up with me the entire time and even got me flowers a comfy robe and a bell!!!

Going home.

Driving from Dallas back to San Antonio. It was a though drive but I made it.

Blood transfusion.

Amy is getting a blood transfusion to help with her high heart rate and sluggishness.

Walking

Sitting

She got up and sat down in a chair for the first time. It has been about 24 hrs since the beginning of the surgery. She has also started drinking water and even had some apple juice. I am so proud of her.

I came to visit Amy this morning and she said she had a rough night.She is in good spirits though.

Amy straight (no pun intended) out of surgery

Surgery: complete

After 4 and a half hours of playing operation, Dr Hostin came out to tell me, Josh, and grandma that everything went well. Recovery starts now.

Getting nervous.

Party hat.

Tomorrow tomorrow it's only a day away

Tomorrow is the big day! Ive been looking forward/ dreading this for months now.
Today I had a ton of appointments and I was very calm through all of them surprisingly. My husband didn’t do so well though, poor guy is very squimish when it comes to body talk. Anyways I think I am prepared for tomorrow hopefully they will drug me up quickly so I won’t have time to back out. Pray pray pray!!!!

Fun filled day of pre surgery activities

Today I filled out paper work, took bending X-rays, gave blood, saw a giant pink gorilla, and was medically cleared for surgery.

Anxiety!

My husband and I just made it to Dallas, my surgery is at the Baylor Scoliosis Center, and my nerves are making an appearance. We left the kids with my grandparents and it was so hard for me to say goodbye. My daughter (she’s 5) promised me she would be brave and pray for me everyday and my 2 yr old son has no idea what is going on, oh the joy of ignorance! In 15 mins it will be officially 1 day until my surgery, yikes! I have a lot of appointments tomorrow I hope I don’t pass out during any of them.

70 degree curve.

Notice how close my ribs are to my hips.

My twisted back.

Getting to know me

My name is Amy, I’m 25, and I was diagnosed with scoliosis when I was 12. I remember being excited about it when I was called down to the nurses office because I got to leave class and miss school to go to doctors appts. Then I remember that dreaded day I first tried on my new Boston back brace. It was horrible I could not bend, I looked like a robot, it gave me a freakish hour glass figure, and pinched my skin. I was supposed to wear it for 3 yrs, but do you really expect a 13 yr old girl to go through jr high like that?! I started hiding it in my closet after my dad went to work and then I just eventually gave up on it all together after a year. My curve kept on progressing and it was recommended that I get the surgery but we kind of ignored that and went on with our lives. I always knew my limitations with my back so I didn’t have horrible pain but I still did have more pain then most kids my age. I always thought my pain was a normal part of life and I always ignored my worsening problem. Finally after 13 yrs i made an appt and got an x ray. My curves progressed 30 degrees and were going to keep getting worse. I have a 70 degree S curve now and my surgery is scheduled in less then a week!! I’m beyond scared needless to say but I have faith in the Lord that I will be strong and have a fast recovery.