I missed my 3 am meds this morning and I woke up at 6 in extreme pain. It was horrible and I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to take anything until 9. I knew I had the dilaudid and I can take that but to be honest with you dilaudid does not do it for me, which is weird because I hear it is highly addictive, but I was praying it would bring me down in my pain level at least to a 6. Luckily my Mommy in law took charge like she always does and gave me my hydro condone which I will have to skip at 9 but I’ll still have the valium and we will work our way back into our schedule. I hate being so dependent on these medicines and I hope that it doesn’t last long. I thought I was doing so great with my recovery but experiencing it without being medicated this morning really depressed me, I’m so scared of addiction, I’m scared of dependency, and I’m scared that this pain will be with me for ever. I know I’m just bringing myself down, when I was in the hospital I didn’t think I would ever be able to walk and I did so I just need to give it time.
No comments:
Post a Comment